The Most Awesome Poem In The World

I like to climb trees.
Sometimes, I graze my knees.
Hayfever makes me sneeze,
But still I like to climb trees.

Dedicated to Lois.

Waiting For The AUM

The AUM,
Only one of them,
In this school,
The not so cool,
Strictly no fool
ing around,
Man.

The PGCE student,
thought it might be prudent,
To update his folder,
For the AUM had a chip on his shoulder,
About the lesson plans,
That have no fans,
Which appear to be...

Missing.

Where's the SOWs,
The IEPs
The QTS Standard Audit?
The host of acronym related,
foolishly abated,
documents?

Get it sorted.

The student frantically spends his nights,
Anxious, and writes,
page after page,
of seemingly gauge
less paper.

Electronic of course.

The next day, the time has come,
And after counselling from mum,
I take my folder,
Feeling bolder,
To my AUM.

I nervously wait,
To hear him state,
That "All is good",
Name no longer mud,
"But make sure you evaluate".

I leave the room,
Joyously celebrating my escape from doom,
And rush down to find,
More lesson plans.

Blinds

Blinds,
Clinical and Modern.
Hanging dejectedly like a row of thinly peeled potatoes.
If only I could afford curtains.

The Inevitable Discovery Of That Which Was Once Lost.

Oh.

Of course.

There it is.

In the place that originally you knew it was,
Before you lost all comprehension of logical fact and location.

And once during the "mardy" you might have remembered,
About the spot that it lays in,
Beside the bed,
Plugged in and incidentally USELESS.

But it is found.

And the moment of fury and frustration passes,
As the phone, greeting an old friend,
Slots in,
Lights up.
And begins the slow charge as I wearily lay down on the bed beside it,
Wishing it sweet dreams.

As I dream of a world without chargers.

The Inevitable Loss.

The Charger.

There it is, ladies and gentlemen,
The lump of plastic that sits by your bedside,
Apathetically, grudgingly, lazily making its pitiful existence
An absolute
NECESSITY.

If one could deal without a charger, well!
Life would certainly not be the same.
Laptops, Mobiles, iPods, iPads, PSPs, DSi (soon to be taken over by the 3DS),
Would they exist?

Would we exist?

For when we find that this irritating NECESSITY of modern life goes missing...

Apocalypse, End Of The World, the whole POINT of EXISTENCE seems bleak and terrifying.

How will we cope without the charger? We need the charger,
It completes our purpose in life,
Keeping up with the metaphorical, or perhaps literal (depending on your geographical neighbourhood location) Joneses.

How do you expect me to keep in contact with people?
Write a letter?
How do you expect me to do my work?
Use a pen?
What about leisure? Surely you cannot expect me to play my games if I dont have my Colour 3DSPLite?
Play snap.

But I am not so forward thinking and independent from technology.
I can only go on, blindly dependent on the item,
The item that ALWAYS manages to lose itself.

Oh woe is me. 

Pole Girl

To the beautiful girl who rides the pole,
To the beautiful girl who created the hole,

In my heart.

A heart that is waiting for a Brief Encounter,
A moment lingering on past what could be considered polite.

Avoiding physical contact as much as possible,
I spend the long days, the frees, the lessons,
Thinking,
Not of the lesson plans that I should perhaps instead be doing,
But of the smile that lights up the staff base.
Handy, due to the unreliable motion sensor lights.

So I wait, patiently, for that moment of contact,
Not physical of course,
But of my rampant emotions as unchecked as a GCSE student,
Coming just that one bit closer,
Just one bit,
To you,
Pole Girl.